little bit

of frustration today.
In the process of getting better and doing better for myself i also realize how lonely i've let myself get because of my lack of friends.  I'm glad that i don't have any more bad influences anymore but i do miss having someone to text to tell them when something funny happens.  in time i will get friends out here which im not going to lie im super excited about but nervous too.  I get so nervous meeting new people but i am really trying to get out of my comfort zone and be super friendly.

I still have yet to decide whether or not i want to write a full book or start off with short stories.  I have a few short stories so far but i have some ideas on books i could do.  Im scared to start writing a book and feel like i failed if i cant finish it.  I think im going to look into some creative writing courses later down the road to help me.

I spent today with the girls but all day i have had a headache...mostly from the change in the weather.  It was so nice out today though we spent so much time yesterday and today outside it is a nice change.  The girls and i watched a few movies today the line up was lady and the tramp aid bud twice and casper twice.  then i put in enchanted but they only saw some of that one cause it was bath time.  I have mastered the bath time by myself.  It is actually easier than it sounds and now that im somewhat over the nervous part of being a nanny and its more like a natural thing.  I love being with the girls its amazing to just watch them interact with each other and interact with other people.  The childs mind is so complex most people would think differently or think that children dont know much at all but in fact they know more than anyone can see.  Infants learn 50% of their knowledge from when they are born till they are 1 years old. That alone just astounds me.  Children pick up on any time of emotion any bad vibe from anyone they are sensitive to environments and they learn so much before they can even talk.  If that isnt amazing i dont know what is.

Sydney's new thing is to say "My mommy wants me to"  Yesterday morning at 8:30 i asked the girls what they wanted for breakfast and Sydney says popsicles i said no its too early she said "my mommy wants me to have a popsicle."  It's funny because she thinks i will fall for it.  She is also singing more princess songs now.  Its not just ariel if you ask her to sing snow white she will.  It's funny to see her run around outside and hear her sing at the top of her lungs.  Carrie says she doesn't just watch the princess movies for entertainment she watches it as a guide for life.  She pretty much believes she is Princess Sydney.  && Molly has been such a sweetie pie to me today giving me hugs and kisses and all the i love you's i could ask for.  It always warms my heart to hear that.  Although its not i love you its I bub youu.  either way its adorable.

At the moment Michael and I are watching Batman.  Its amazing on bluray.  The joker is so awesome in this oh man.  Well im off to go lay on the couch and relax even though im freakin burning up in here right now.  good nightt!