i dont even know what to think anymore. I dont know how to fully trust. As of now my guard is way up and im super upset. I mean it shouldnt be hard to make a decision. When you say something mean it and dont back out of it later and give no reason other than i dontknow. It just breaks my heart when i believe in someone and start to trust them but then it back fires in some way. Im glad we're together but i wish i knew what he was thinking. I wish i knew how he felt and being so far away from him doesnt help. God this is hard so freaking hard. Long distance is hard enough without indecisiveness. Im firm on my side of how i feel is it so hard to ask for the same? Sure this is a small little bump in the road in the relationship but really it still hurts. It just throws me off. Im better with how i react to things now and im surprised at how well im taking it. but damnit all i can think is make up your mind. AHHH! i just dont want to be hurt again.
Talking to my sister really helped me tonight and i am glad i have her cause if not i would be a total mess.
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