so basically.

im fed up with the male race.
im really fucking tired of it.
i want to know when im going to stop attracting assholes and when im going to find a real fucking genuine person.  i mean i dont really want a relationship right now and all im looking for is friends and to just talk to people about meaningless stuff idk just have friends but i guess with guys that is not allowed ever is it in their genetic code that they cant be just friends with a girl i mean even guys with girlfriends cant even do it and i fall for it every single fucking time. fuck em.

its been a while.

soooo im sorry i havent written.  ive been pretty stressed and not been in a writing mood.
Not much has really changed in the past few days.
Wade and i have exchanged the bare minimum of convo and when i say that i really mean it.  His dumb ass cant even get the courage to break up with me and cant even talk to me either.  still unknown why we broke up but he can fuckinn suck itttt.
Carrie, the girls, and i went shopping today.  I needed some clothes that actually fit me so i got a dress at old navy that is sooo cute.  it was only 15 dollars.
Then we went to kohls which was amazing.  i got a pair of skinny jeans a hoodie a shirt and a pair of heels for 40 dollars! i felt pretty damn good about that one.
Im supposed to hang out with my new friend Katy from yoga  were going to have a girls day well evening because we both got broken up with or whatever in the same weekend.  we bonded lol.
school is really stressful but im trying to make the best of it.
i started to write tonight im not sure if its a start to my book or what but it isnt too bad i send it to my best friend Alex to see what she says.
other than that not much has really changed
im going to listen to the storm and go to sleep
study dayyyy alll dayyyyy tomorrow.  goodnight world.

Hairrr cutttt.

Got my hurrr did today.  It made me feel better.

Breakups pretty much really suck.
I made a friend in yoga and im really excited to have made one.
and i saw theeee hottest person in class today ohhh man.
im really starting to love yoga.
its amazing the things i can do that i never thought id be able to do

i really love tattoos and im missing them. damn.

i dont have much to say today ive been holding up pretty well today but im still a bit sad and dont have much to say i promise to write more tomorrow bye bye peopless.

cooled off.

so yeah now im cooled off and not so angry.
im actually pretty ohkay with it all
no tears just really irritated with how it all happened.  Im now free to really have my life out here.
Theres some amazingly gorgeous emt && firefighter guys at my school
oh man they are sooooooooo gorgeous.  love itt.
im movin on and in the midst of the drama my writers block went away and i have an idea for a story
now its time to try and map it out
and outline it and all that jazz.
i feel like im in a good place right now woohoo go me.

one of the only things i miss about cali and yes i took this picture.
well im off now peace outttt

im single.

yup thats right im single.
hes a fuckin dumb ass.
ignores me for three days
then when i text him and say so is it over or what
he says yeah.
nothing else.
wtf.
im fucking livid at the moment.

wtf

is up with guys?  No i have a boyfriend means it NO MEANS NO DUMB ASS!
No does not mean hit on me more it does not mean im playing a game with you come on to me more it also does not mean you can get me to crack cause im unavailable and thats something appealing to you.  Just cause you tell me im good looking doesnt mean shit fool.  OH yeah and this is what he says if i knew you were going to end up looking like you do now id would have hit on you in hs.  THIS FOOL.
im only looking for friends and even if i was single what this dumb ass is doing doesnt make me want to be with them it repulses me.  


OHKAY. rant over. 


anyways.  I had the girls today.  Me and Michael made a good team today.  The girls giggled so much and it boosted my mood a lot.  I ended up reading a chapter of a text book that i wasnt supposed to. so that was useful.  as carrie said at least ill know more than the rest of the class.  go me! 
Boyfriend hasnt talked to me in two days.  Idk whats going on but theres been no contact on his side and im not pushing it.  Whats the point of pushing him to talk or buggin him?  If he doesnt wnna talk to me then fuckk it.  let him do what he needs to do and get back to me whenever he can.  Weird thing is it really hasnt affected my mood as much as i thought it would.  Im surprisingly ohkay.  I mean im a little annoyed but im not really that pissed or upset or whatever.  Im just well...whatever about it.  


I got to talk to my mom for a bit today and my step dad for like a minute.  The girls talked to them too it was cute.  Molly kept telling gampa that shes hungry.  "I HUNNGRAYYYY Gampa." Its one of her things to say that and "You come my house?" So cute. 


After the girls were about to go to bed i went to sonic and got my giant 5 calorie lemonade.  i got a large this time but usually ill get a route 44 and thats only 10 calories i mean really? can it get better than that?


I also went to walmart.  With this gaining weight bullshit going on i had to buy a couple new things that wouldnt suffocate my ass.  And of course i couldnt resist buying a romance novel to read in between my school work.  cause as my english professor said its good to keep reading other things because you like it take care of yourself and do school work.  
therefore i win i get to read my books and write and get my school work done. woohoo. 
I rented movies as well.  Walmart has the redox the dollar rental thing and got fighting and adventureland.  its for my late nights i spend looking for something to watch and i cant ever find anything.  Carrie wont be home till like 1 so ill probably be up when she gets home.  


well thats all ive got to say today bye bye blogspott. 

music

soothes the soul.
My entire day consisted of reading my text book.
reading some more
&&some more reading
talking to Alexx on the phone. finally.
then more reading
occasionally getting something to eat.
and after oh ill say about 6 hours of reading
Michael and the girls came home and i gave them a bath.
It was bubble hair night.
Then read some more and took my quiz which i did average on.  I really need to figure out how im going to do all this homework when im so damn confused on it.
then did homework for another class.
Once Carrie and Michael went to bed i put on my music and have been mindlessly doing random things to keep my mind from going to places it shouldnt be going right now.  and it shouldnt be going anywhere cause i dont want to think anymore.  It causes problems when i do so i have ceased any thoughts coming in at this very moment.  im going to be doing some yoga tonight to see if that helps.
i dont want to have another night like last night where i was up until like 330 or 4 in the morning.
that was just a disaster.
Basically haven't heard from my boyfriend since last night.  He hasnt talked to me all day so whatever.  This indecisive thing is really getting me mad.
Talking to Alexx made me feel good today.  I missed talking to her it was good to catch up with her.
well i really dont know what else to say cause my day was pretty uneventful.
ill write later world.